Before someone tells me I’m conforming, that I need to check my privilege or that I’m doing the patriarchy a great service, hear me out.
Feminism, the dirty ‘f’ word, taught me to have confidence in myself as a woman. I actually needed to be taught how to be confident in being a woman despite not choosing to be born with this gender, don’t get me wrong I’m not unhappy with my gender, I love it! I’m not however, too fond of the bitchiness and shade thrown at women who like to look and dress feminine. Remember, no matter how much makeup I wear or if I’ve put effort into styling my hair, I am still tough, I am still capable and I’m just as outspoken and intelligent.
I think that the women of my generation, millennials in general, though revolutionary in thought and action, miss the point a lot of the time. Introducing new concepts and encouraging diversity doesn’t necessarily mean that we need to tear down stereotypical femininity, it doesn’t mean that women who focus on their appearance and have a beauty regime are conforming.
A lot of things that women are nowadays associated with were initially for men, high heels were worn by butchers, pole dancing was a male industry and makeup served a practical purpose in ancient Egypt. Knowing this, I think it’s so cool that women over the years have taken these things and made them their own, our ancestors made these things feminine and it’s amazing.
I think when it comes to these fairly unimportant insignificant little things, the whole point is choice, you don’t have to wear dresses or heels or wear makeup but the option is there for everyone and there’s no harm in it, so stop whining.
Another thing that bothers me are women, who I have encountered my fair share of in my short life, who think they are better than other women for being tomboys, you may literally be wearing the pants but so what? I’m still as smart as you and I am still my own person, I don’t need to explain myself to you, I don’t judge you for having short hair or going makeup free, I don’t give a shit, you’re doing you, that’s cool but don’t diss me or belittle me because I like my skirts and blouses.
There was a time when I despised skirts and dresses, throughout my teens I just wasn’t all that comfortable, I got more into them as I got older and now I love them and feel super comfortable in them. They’re a fashion piece,they won’t tell you what how high my IQ is or how capable I may or may not be of kicking your ass.
The point is not that women should try too hard or even need to try to make an effort, everyone has to make an effort, man or woman so whatever that means to you, I can guarantee it means something completely different to someone else.